Polygamy
Men are by nature polygamous. I learnt it as a proverb. When I was young I hated the idea. I could never imagine any sharing of my man. At that time experiences of life were limited. I could not think deeply and could not observe and analyze life the way I can do now.
When I aged forward experiences of life enlightened my ideas.I got married and wanted to have my husband absolutely of my own. I was very possessive. Gradually I understood that my ideas were not pragmatic. I started to believe the proverb that “men are by nature polygamous.” Monogamy is not natural for him. Monogamy is not spontaneous for a man but it is a concept derived from civilization which is imposed on him. Men had to swallow this to prove that he was civilized. It seems to me that civilization is not natural but artificial.
Nature does not accept things that are not natural. That is why from time immemorial no one could stop polygamy. It always existed in different forms. Sometimes men married other girls, sometimes they had mistresses and concubines and some other times they purchased sex. Even today sex industry is a lucrative business commercially.
In all ages men enjoyed many women when they had opportunities. According to the Bible, king Solomom had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Abdulaziz Ibn Saud was the first monarch and founder of Saudi Arabia. He had at least 22 wives and 45 legitimate sons (Reference: pbs.org)
King Mongut of Thailand (Siam) had 82 children by 39 wives.(Reference: answers.google.com)
Let us look at the English kings. Charles II had 14 mistresses, James II had 11 mistresses and Henry VIII had 10 mistresses. Besides, Edward VII and Henry I had 9 mistresses each (listverse.com).
The Mughal Harem was the Harem of Mughal emperors of South Asia. The word Harem means, “Forbidden place, sacrosanct, sanctum”. It was a sphere of women polygynous. Concubines lived there among others. Many local rulers of vassal status sent their daughters to Mughal Harem to cement political relations with the Mughal emperors (Reference: Wikipedia)
If we look at the artists, poets, musicians, novelists, famous politicians etc., we find that women influenced and enriched their creations and performance immensely.
Pablo Picasso had two wives and many lovers. Once he said, “Love is the greatest refreshment in life.” It seems that he refreshed his body and soul from time to time that made him “Pablo Picasso”.
Islam allows four wives for a man. Sometimes Islam is criticized for this. I feel that the criticism is not logical. When the first wife gets aged the man’s sexual activities become limited which is not healthy for him. If he lives 100 years he needs four wives at least. I did not say this to promote any religion. I just made analysis of a philosophy of life. I believe that all humans are equal and love is the best virtue.
My experience of life says that a woman's age is a very important factor in a man’s sexual life. He can utilize his sexual potentialities to the maximum level if he gets a young girl. He can be most active sexually with a young girl only.
I am a permanent resident of New Zealand. I have Indefinite PR. My son and daughter have been living in New Zealand. I visit New Zealand frequently and live there for some time. I have seen there old white men marrying very young girls from China, the Philippines, Cambodia and other developing countries. Men of 60/70 or more than that age range are married to 16-25 years old girls. I thought over the matter and found that those old men purchased the young girls with PR (Permanent Residency). These days PR of New Zealand is very difficult to achieve. Those young girls wanted better life. They married old men for having PR. I am not blaming the old men. They need young girls for maximum utilization of their sexual potentialities. In most cases they did not get young girls in their own community because white young girls chose young men as their partners. I want to make it clear that the old men did not force anyone to get married to them. The girls who married them were absolutely free to make their own choice.
I understand that both the old and the young men need young girls simultaneously. Since the white young girls are occupied by white young men, they are not available for the old men. That is why these old men married young girls from China, the Philippines, Cambodia or other countries. Otherwise, racial discrimination might be a point. I lived in YMCA Hostel of Auckland CBD for some time. Some white girls did not talk to me and threw a blow of hatred when they saw me and my daughter. I should also make it a point that YMCA Hostel authority behaved very well with me. I got some white men and women as my friends.
The effect of polygamy on women and children is disastrous. No woman on earth wants a polygamous husband. I do not want too. It is very difficult to swallow. Sometimes truth is very hard, confusing and contradictory. Opinions and feelings are different. I can shape my opinions but I cannot do the same when the issue is my feelings. When a woman comes to know of the fact that her husband is polygamous, she becomes mad with sorrows and grief. The entire world breaks into pieces before her eyes. She finds no point to continue in that household. She and her children feel very insecure and distressed. Mother and children do not respect the polygamous man. The structure of the family breaks down miserably. A woman continues life with a polygamous husband when she has no income and therefore, no freedom.
A polygamous man enjoys his youth but at the end of the day he finds himself standing in an empty house. He gets social security in a welfare state but there is no security of a family. He gets no love and respect as a husband and as a father. It seems that each man needs a strong roof over his head under which all family members live and support each other. Polygamy will never create a family in the real sense of the term. One of my relatives lived in one of the Middle Eastern countries for a few years. He said, “ No one grieves his death when a polygamous man dies. The wives become busy with how much wealth and property they will get. They try to have many sons so that they can have greater share of the dead man’s property and wealth compared to other wives.” It appears that if a man wants the shelter of a family, he must forego polygamy. He cannot have both at the same time. He must choose one.
I never want my husband to be polygamous. I cannot share him with anyone else. But even then I confess that polygamy is normal, natural and healthy for a man but monogamy is ideal for a woman and her children.
